you were a mess in your 20's! 

you jittered your way through, 

you were such a spaz.

LOVE THIS SHOW. #Girls #LenaDunhamLove

thankful for.
beautiful sunset and 
that power rain shower.
robots and radiolab.
laughing and loving 
my dear girlfriends.

effing italy man. you don't know how much i yearn to meet you. and i want you to

know you can do with me what you will. i wanna sleep in your corners and live

in a brave new world. even if it's pretend. even if only for a night or two or five.
 i wanna dance and drink and smoke and feel after a year of tears and hustle

and questionable men and questionable choices; i wanna be alive and in love 
with you. you can't cry and bike, man. you can't scream and swim. you can't

choke down tears when your smiling and dancing within. and i'm tired of crying 
and all that melodramatic lykke li shiz. tired of bending and changing and
cringing and being tied to my own invisible strings. dare i say, take me for what
i am and let's agree not to talk for a bit?

i want this to be a new and experimental space.

 a safe place. a new
state. a new place. a weird place. a me place. a me and you place. if you
know (and you do) that i am weird and inside colorful and so are you. 
and that always gets hidden doesn't it? that always feels shushed and 
pushed and i tell myself if i had all the money in the world all the bravery
in the world i would be wild and weird and free and myself, be myself.
just like you. you know as well as i do that you are weird and wild and 
colorful too. so why not start here, start now. if i'm not writing, i'm lackluster.
i'm half-way to half and half and too much vodka (a white russian for me, a 
whiskey sour, for you). and i don't care that i say "i" and why should you. 
and i don't care that narratives roll from my tongue, nor should you. i'm 
fighting the good fight each day, each breath. and so are you.

t

do you know
do you always know?
do your bones start tightening 
do you furrow your brow
does your stomach clench
and your teeth clink
do your pinkies wretch
as your heart sinks
do you know
without a word
the things that seep in
nightly into your crown
the things that matter
the things that are you
do you always know
when your legs chatter
and your knees sigh
your stomach murmurs
an undercurrent; a wave
a symphonic bodily cry
do you know?
you always know.

bits of le weekend.

it was freaking CUTE you guys!

MCA party with beautiful music.

courtney's eulogy for kurt? kewl.

andddd disturbing.

rock'n'roll, nonetheless.

DIY flower crown time.

(must make more for swedish

 midsummer pahtee).